Tuesday 27 February 2018

How to be a Modern-Day Princess

Ok so I am still obsessed with this Meghan Markle becoming a Princess!   And not just any princess, but with the top royal family in the world in our time!  I just can’t believe it!!!  From the first time I saw her on Suits, surprised to have someone who looks so ugly, old, fat, & cross-eyed, try to play a role where she’s supposed to be hot, w/ the lead young actor supposedly infatuated by her when she looks wrinkled enough to be his mother…
Insert:  I remember an insane interview where this screen partner was asked about Meghan’s relationship with Prince Harry & how he supposedly acted like a big brother overprotective of his little sister…what a fake!  She’s like your mother you little old young looking cute dude!
Anyway, why does things like this happen?  Well, there are people who can probably make things happen.  Not mind how old she is and how rotten her ovaries might be.  Or that she was a divorcee who left his husband & partner of 8 years for a hot Canadian athlete.  Or that she keeps on pretending she is pretty, well as I have mentioned multiple times foreigners have strange taste (Awww!  Just remembered perfect looking couple Harry & Cressida posted on the news that Harry invited his ex to his wedding), who would’ve thought Harry would go from perfect beauty to downgrade Meghan?!  Well, Meghan did, without hesitation, and that’s how you do it gurls!!!
I have been amazed at the Frank Underwood character from House of Cards for a while.  I was devoted to him until the scene where he spit on Jesus in the chapel, Jesus (the figure) fell down & broke, and Frank took the ear and said “well at least I now have Jesus’ ear.”  Sorry but that turned me off and I got scared of watching it.  Sorry, maybe it’s because I was raised Catholic.  Even when I didn’t want to, I stopped watching the show (really hard to do that by the way, just saying, and having to settle for Designated Survivor and that wimp of a President, waaaaah!).  You see, I have feelings.  I have fears.  But not Frank.  And definitely not Meghan.  No, if you want to achieve greatness like them, you should not have emotions (I googled how to eliminate emotions and google, as smart as it always has been, said ‘take drugs,’ w/c is actually true, but defeats the purpose, what is the use not to have emotions when you will lose your brain and everything else as well?).  So let’s see how to achieve greatness…and be the modern-day princess…
Of course you have to be exposed.  And what better way to be exposed than be an actor.  That’s why Meghan had to hustle (as it has been revealed that she’s the anonymous blogger “The Working Actress”).  Here you can somehow have some glimpse of the real Meghan.  She is ambitious.  She never mentions her live-in partner and husband.  Because he is only temporary.  A mean to an end.  He was an executive producer.  But as it turned out, was not very useful for her.  Ok, to be fair, according to John Legend’s wife, Meghan used to be a ‘nice girl’ when she was a briefcase girl in Deal or no Deal.  So Meghan grew into the ‘Frank Underwood’ after she gained fame on Suits.  Yes, we all know it’s not that big.  And she’s not the lead (as opposed to what she claimed on her blog).  She’s more of an ‘adornment’ of some sort.  And she can’t really act that well, not that the role demanded much.  But she felt that she was the most popular and successful actress and she acted like it.  In her blog (the anonymous one), she has mentioned how irritated she is that her plumber asked to take photos w/ her.  And how one of her drivers was chatting her up and showing her photos on his iPhone, saying why on earth the driver would think she would care about his photos or his life.  I remember when she said something in Filipino recently and the video somewhat went viral.  If you watch it it was obvious she was irritated and seemed that greeting the people was a ‘job’ not something she really wants to do.
Ok after Meghan felt she was famous she stopped writing the anonymous blog because she does not want to get known for that (but she can’t deny it now as she gave interviews then and definitely there are people who know).  Meghan started writing The Tig.  This is more for self-promotion.  No it is not what we all want to write.  It is all about positivity, fashion, humanity, etc., anything but reality my dear.  Meghan did not write these because she wants to.  This is all part of the efforts to build herself up.  Part of meeting famous people & climbing up the social ladder.  Now we all hear about her famous friends.  But we never hear about her relationships.  Or that she was living with someone when she had herself set up on a blind date w/ Prince Harry (and the timeline always changes).  You see, you never should flaunt your relationship to the public if there is someone better out there (now Meghan can since Harry is the most eligible bachelor in the planet anyways).  Ever wonder why she has all these photos w/ her famous girlfriends but never with the man she lives with?  And girls, don’t hesitate to take photos with your pretty friends.  Meghan does it all the time.  Look at all her photos where she looks like the ‘help’ (not being racist here, talking about plain looks not color!---plenty of pretty black women out there!) beside her ‘perfect’ friends.  People will eventually think you’re pretty too! :D
And you gotta hustle.  Remember how Piers Morgan was forced to have lunch w/ Meghan because she keeps on texting him?  How Piers mentioned Meghan doesn’t want to talk about her briefcase past?  Social-climbing is the way to go.  And of course, it is very easy to take some time to do all these ‘humanitarian works’ and photo-ops.  And project an image that you are a health buff.  Do not let it slip in an interview that you actually feel really hungry after a posh date and would rather eat pizza at home after (like Meghan did).  You should project this ‘healthy’ image and that you eat all these ‘beautiful’ & organic food, people will kinda think you are beautiful too??  Project a ‘cool’ image.  Be a feminist (in public, but leave your career entirely once you snag a prince, it’s your end goal anyway).  Be outspoken when it’s cool & will benefit you.  When people question you leaving your job after getting the man, do not hesitate to say how ‘Suits’ is on it’s gazillion season already and is so “passé” (do not mind your ‘friends’ who still need the job in the show, you are done with them anyway!)  Stick your tongue out so people think you are ‘being real.’  And do not make the mistake of changing your accent (like Meghan did).  It is too obvious how different she speaks now compared to just months ago (haha!).  Dump your friends, partners, your family, when you need to, when they’re weighing you down (it’s funny how all these articles  come out warning Meghan not to invite her sister to her wedding, Meghan will never do this, and she won’t feel an ounce of guilt or misery).  Be thick as a board.  Doesn’t matter if your father is bankrupt.  If you abandon your disabled sister w/ MS while you are taking photos w/ black children abroad.  It doesn’t matter if your brother was committing a crime.  What matters is you have a prince rolled around your little finger who believes whatever you pretend to be.  A prince who will not doubt when you say you do not know anything about him or his family before you met (but you are too eager to meet w/ semi-royalty like Piers Morgan).  This is Frank Underwood and this is Meghan Markle.  And this is what you have to do if you want to achieve greatness like them.  That is the real world.  This is reality.  Ruthless pragmatism y’all ;)