My Last Performance Review

So recently I had a chance to do the performance review discussion w/ my former boss.  I really didn’t expect much since he never talks to me.  It’s nothing personal he’s just like that.  We never seem to get any time w/ him.  He just keeps on cancelling & rescheduling every meeting till you get tired of following up w/ him.  So I thought we wouldn’t get any chance to have my performance review discussion.  I was surprised we did.  I also wasn’t expecting much from him given that ‘nilaglag’ nya ako the last time.  You see I had this ‘kapalpakan’ end of last year when we had a VIP visitor.  Palpak ang presentation ko.  Since then he dropped me (kaya nga ‘former boss’).  He promised a new role for me then bigla na lang nidrop nya ako.  So wala na ako gana sa knya.  Anyway, he’s smart & I probably ‘learned a lot’ in the hour or so that we discussed.  So eto ang mga advise nya sakin (let’s just focus on the negative ‘coz that’s what I focus on all the time anyway hehe!).  O sige na nga, he had a lot of good things to say about me, like I’m an achiever…I’m like a ‘pitbull’ when I’m given something to do I am so focused & I ensure it’s completion.  He did mention that he really did defend me amidst my ‘other’ shortcomings, that he mentioned we have to focus on my performance & my achievements no matter how I relate to other people.  Anyway, here are my improvement areas:

-          Do not document anything that is against the rules na ipapahamak ako or sya.  Hindi raw nya talaga ako sasagutin if I ask something against the policy sa email or messenger.  He’ll just talk to me in person & I also have to make sure I cover my ass.

-          Be more sensitive towards other people.  He said we have the same tendency to rub people off the wrong way.  He kinda seemed like he thinks I’m not aware (but I am).  And I kinda liked it that we are the same (especially when I used to admire him before he ‘dropped’ me).  But now I realized it is not something he is proud of or he thinks is right or he doesn’t care about.  He says it’s something he’s been working on & it’s something I should be conscious about & work on as well.  He even mentioned I should seek feedback from others but not to the point of being paranoid.

-          He said I tend to focus on ‘small things’ & that it irritates people.  He said I should give those up.  These are simple things that I should just let go of.  He gave certain examples…kaya nga siguro may mga kaaway ako sa office at kaya siguro maraming may ayaw sakin hehe!  He said if I’m not getting any feedback/results I should decide myself & simply align w/ other managers.  And that I should ‘choose my battles.’  He said I should not make it so hard on myself :D

Anyway ayan lang naman ang mga advise nya sakin when it comes to work.  Ung iba more of career next steps, basta eto ung mga kelangan ko iimprove sa attitude/behavior ko or improvement areas.  He also gave some advise on my married life:

-          Men start planning their life after getting married.  Women plan their life until they get married…then their life is planned by their husbands

Nairita ako dito sabi ko ayaw ko ng ganon, sabi nya the sooner you accept it the easier it will be for you

-          He also advised that I choose to do what is right & I will be happy w/ my decision later on (I was thinking of leaving my husband na), sabi ko na lang sige antayin ko na lang when I will be happy

Anyway as usual I learned a lot again from him (w/c I didn’t expect pero ganon nga, marami syang one-liners na malaman & helpful sa personal life not just sa work life)…

Why I think MY WEDDING TRUMPED Marian’s & Heart’s

1.       I had a really cool photobooth ;)

2.       I had an amazing program…all guests had fun & most stayed till the end of the party or even after ;)

3.       I felt so loved ;)

4.       Flowers were THE WORST part of my wedding but were still BETTER than that of Heart’s & Marian’s…I guess I have better taste ;)

5.       I didn’t spend as much on my wedding gowns but my wedding gowns were prettier…I didn’t settle for Pinoy designers lang that’s why ;)

6.       Mine was classy, not trying hard or OA but fun ;)

7.       I looked better than they did & I didn’t even have as much professional makeup artists’ help ;)

8.       I didn’t have to spend as much as they did…I probably spent 1% of what Marian/Dingdong or GMA did…only 1M…and I barely spent half of that myself ;)

9.       I had a wonderful priest & supportive entourage (maybe Heart did as well)…but I think I have more friends than Marian ;)

10.   My cake…ahem ;)

11.   I have a bigger & better church ;)

12.   Mas bongga bridal car ko ;)

13.   Mas maganda ang motif ko ;)

14.   Mas maganda porma ng entourage ko ;)

 

Random Musings

Ok so I’m bored again in the office, bakit ba ang dami ko laging free time??!  Ang hirap kc if you’re SO efficient hahahahaha!  Ok so my former team eh parang deadma na sakin ngayon…pero d naman sila lahat.  ‘Yung isa sa kanila actually hindi ko alam kung crush ba nya ‘ko o ano, nagask pa if magkakaron ako ng sarili kong team & if pde sya lumipat, haha! I don’t know basta lagi sya paimpress sakin.  Pag nasa meeting very conscious sya sa tingin ko sa kanya.  Di ko naman maisip na crush nya ko kc para syang closeted bading talaga.  Saka this is not offensive in any way because he really has a very good work attitude & performer talaga!  And I have 2 of my former teamleads who I think remain to be my special friends.  I am happy to have gained friends kahit na direct reports ko sila.  Nakita naman siguro nila panu ko sila inalagaan at sinuportahan nung tao ko pa sila.  Na hindi naman personal kundi dahil performer naman talaga sila!  Well I kinda miss them pero aren’t I in the ideal position now?  Management level, same sweldo, pero walang hawak na tao?  Saya!!! :D

Anyway kanina parang naririnig ko sila naguusap about their next teambuilding---kasama ang bago nilang manager.  Siguro I had a ‘twang’ of inggit pero dba teambuildings w/ them are things I really DESPISED before?  So now I’m free!!!  I don’t have to join them & makisama, I have my personal time back!!!

Kahapon lang nairita ako kc magspend sana kami nung prize money naming dun sa little Xmas party contest namin, tapos last minute ba naman ako sinabihan, samantalang ung iba alam naman dahil nagchange shift pa sila.  Anyway, d naman nila responsibility na sabihan ako besides I’m a manager kaya d ako nakakasama sa usual usapan nila.  Pero ung bubwit na nagsabi sakin I’m sure sinadya nya yon.  She can’t be trusted.  Close kc sya dun sa isa kong nemesis dito sa company.  Oo nga pala, there is this girl in the company that I replaced (1^st job ko dito sa company).  And for some reason, napapansin ko, lahat ng nagiging kaclose nya nagkakaron ng contempt sakin.  I don’t know why.  Walang reason para mainggit sya sakin.  She has the “perfect career” in the company.  Sya ang kinaiinggitan ng lahat.  Pero di ko lam anung meron sya against me, bakit kelangan nyako siraan, etc..  Basta halatang-halata. 

Hay nako nagugutom ako.  Kc ba naman nitry ko ung bagong Thai resto sa foodcourt.  Kakaloka, almost 160 pesos ung binili kong lunch eh ksya yata yon sa isa o dalawang subo, walang kalaman-laman.  Puro kanin lang.  May apog pa ung baklang nagtitinda na magsabing paborito yon ni Kris Aquino, sabi ko “bakit kilala ba yang resto nyo?”  “Meron nap o kami sa Ortigas na dinadayo ni Kris Aquino.”  Well, basing on KrisTV mukha namang WALANG TASTE si Kris sa pagkain…

So I learned there’s this new viral video of the Mamasapano incident.  Grabe daw at overkill (syempre hindi ko maview kc nandito ako sa ofc!).  Sabi na, you shouldn’t deal w/ terrorists.  I’m sure tinago naman nila si Marwan at ipinagtanggol ang mga terorista kaya ginanon ang SAF.  Pero kung ako ang nasa posisyon hindi ko rin alam anong gagawin ko.  It’s easy to say not to condone terrorism pero ano gagawin natin if walang peace talks?  Civil war teh?  Di ko yata feel magkaron ng gyera dito sa Pinas.  Eto kasing mga Muslim na ito d ko talaga maintindihan ang peg…

Ok so I’m recovering a little, hindi nako ganon kadepressed sa life ko---sana.  Ayoko na umiyak gabi2.  Nagkamali akong magpakasal.  Ang hirap pala teh.  Ewan ko ba bat sa media eh parang getting married is so good, na parang dapat lahat magasawa, d dapat maging single…baket?  Ang sarap kaya ng single life…kung maibabalik ko lang! ;)

I Miss My Single Life

So Valentine’s Day is coming.  I remember when I was still single I tend to “dread” this day (well maybe not as much as the Christmas holidays).  Now that I am recently married I really don’t care that this day is coming.  And I really envy all the single people out there.  I don’t know why people keep on posting “happy photos” on facebook about being married (and having kids as well).  Now that I am married I CANNOT SEE what is HAPPY about being married.  It’s all suffering, sacrifices, & misery.  I wish I had been single forever.  I married late but still, my time as a single woman was not enough.  Now I never wanna have kids.  Why would I when I hear that’s EVEN HARDER THAN MARRIAGE ITSELF.

Just today I can’t see any other post on Facebook than all about my “friends’” kids, like they are really happy & too fond of them.  I cannot imagine myself having that feeling & I wish that day NEVER COMES.  Now that I am experiencing the hardships of marriage I NEVER want to experience even MORE HARDSHIPS from having kids.

I miss my single life.  I miss not being responsible for anything, the household, etc..  Only caring for myself.  Not having a “sensitive” husband that I always have to care for while he never cares for me at all.  Is it like this as well if you’re a man? 

I miss my single life.  I can’t imagine why I felt so lonely and desperate then, I had everything.  I had a maid (I mean my parents hired her).  I live at my parents’ house, I’m not responsible on fixing anything that is broken, I just have to “report” it.  I can spend my weekends how I want.  I can rest.  I am not stressed.  I can ACTUALLY REST at home.  I don’t use the office as my “resting place” or “peaceful place.”  I had an actual home L

Mamasapano Questions

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