Thursday, 21 December 2017

Princess Meghan Markle

Ok so I don’t know exactly why but I am totally outraged by this Meghan Markle Prince Harry engagement!  Maybe I’m a horrible person or maybe I am just too smart compared to most people in this world…and definitely waaaaay smarter than Harry!!!  Unless he has some twisted secret that Meghan was able to accept w/c is why he feels they are a match!!!
Ok, why do I feel horrible?? Let me try to list it down:

1. Since time immemorial…or maybe since I 1st saw Meghan on Suits my reaction was like…she’s so ugly…fat, and cross-eyed (in fairness to her, it’s obvious she had this fixed now)…how can she have such a role acting like she’s hot or pretty & men are actually attracted to her?  Especially Mike who looks way younger & cuter than she is!  

2. Ok maybe I can’t think of anything else because #1 pretty much sums up how I felt about this actress & to find out she is dating Harry is a shock…but then again I recently saw a pic collage of Harry’s ex’s (or girls or older women he’s dated) & most are ugly as well…maybe I shouldn’t be shocked!  (also looking at British taste…like Pippa is hot…where?  Looks like an old ugly librarian to me!)

3. Ok maybe I thought the royal family is still too conventional to allow this but they did (or maybe they’re not too keen w/c is why they are getting married at the same place Camilla was…they are of the same status!)…sometimes it really annoys me that so many ‘impossible’ things are happening in this world, ok she is waaaay too old, in normal standards women at this age are waaaay beyond the biological clock, she is black (c’mon Meghan you should stop sharing stories that people assumed you were white or Caucasian, please look at the mirror…people will think you are Latino NEVER white…and when people find out one of your parents is black you will immediately be classified as black not white, but what actually amazes me is how na├»ve she acts…like all these anecdotal stories of superficial things when almost everybody else have been through waaaaay more adversities than having to choose a box to tick!!

4. All the lies are irritating me.  From when you guys actually met.  You already corrected the month on your Vanity Fair interview, moving it to July.  Now in your engagement interview it becomes May.  From Piers Morgan saying you practically dragged him to dinner after you guys met on the set of Suits around July telling him about men texting you every now & then since you are recently single & how you don’t want to talk about your time being a suitcase girl in Deal or No Deal.  From leaving your husband for an athlete.  From meeting Prince Harry on a blind date in May while you were still living w/ your chef boyfriend.  From telling your friend “If he isn’t nice then don’t even bother” who wouldn’t want to meet Prince Harry??!  Duh!  Be real for once girl!  From saying on national TV that you don’t know anything about Prince Harry or his family!!!  Oh when will the lies end!!!  I give up!!

5. I don’t know why but her sister who is disabled, whom she cut off since having MS doesn’t really bother the public.  She herself saying Meghan is a social climber.  So does one of her bestfriends from childhood.  Sorry a lot of humanitarians are horrible people and her sister is right to say that charity should start at home.

6. Maybe it’s because I’m not thick-skinned.  Yes because even though I try to convince myself there is no karma I am still afraid to be horrible.  I am still afraid at what will happen if I do bad things…maybe why I’m not getting ahead in this world…while people like Meghan Markle get everything at the expense of everybody else!

Sunday, 1 November 2015

Nov 1

Today is November 1, All Souls Day. I did not think this day would have this much effect on me...but it did...I'm grieving terribly...once again I prayed to God that this is all just a bad dream...that my husband is not dead...I even asked my 1-month old boy to pray the same.

As I've read...grief comes in waves...and tonight I'm drowning...

Tuesday, 13 October 2015

Can't I be Happy?

Dear Blogger,

I still cannot believe that my husband died. Why did this happen to me? Why did he die so young??! Why do I have to meet someone who will die of aids so young? :'( There's so many guys out there why did God choose him for me? Don't I deserve to be happy at one point in my life? ^_*

Sunday, 11 October 2015

Mga Tanong

Dear Blog,

I am missing my husband again. It is kinda hard because right now I am staying in my mom's room. We are sleeping together in bed w/ my I kinda feel like I can't just cry and grieve here 'coz she might see me...

'Ung maid kc naming walang kwenta at walang kcng insensitive nibring-up na namn ung asawa k knina. How he should've been the one taking care of our baby since he's a pedia. How I should've saved much medical care on my baby if he was alive...bakit ba napaka-insensitive nya?! Gusto k sna iwish na mngyri rn sa knya ung ngyri skn kso wla namn syang asawa...iniwan sya ng bf nya nung nbuntis sya...gusto k sna iwish na mmatayan sya ng anak kso mgkkron na namn sya ng dahilan pra sobra na nyang inaabuso. Knina nga nguutos ako pinagaantay ako dhl ngppaload p dw sya (business nya) bwiset wlang kwenta! Bwal p namn ako nkatayo mtgal at bk ako mgbleed...

Hindi k talga alam bat ngyri skn lhat ng ito...bkt ako pa...ano bng ksalanan k? Paulit-ulit kng tintanong...kkaksal k p lng...buntis p...bkt kelangn kng mmatayn ng asawa?! Bkt kelangng ang mpangasawa k e abuser? Drug addict? Sumasma sa mga bading? D namn kmi nghhirap? May aids? Bkt lhat na lng ng kmalasan npunta skn???! Pinagdsal k namn lhat...mula ng mkilala k sya...cnagot k sya...bgo kmi iksal...bkt??? Bkt ako p? Bkt d na lng ako ngkron ng normal na asawa? Ng pamilyang buo? Anu b ang ksalanan k?

Friday, 9 October 2015

I Wanna Die

I wanna die na-_-;; why is all this happening to me??!!

I Can't Take Care of My Baby

I am so depressed that I cannot fully take care of my baby :( Until now (it's been 2 weeks) I still can barely stand up and still can't sit down...I can't even carry my baby:( I'm so so sad :(((

2015 Is Not My Year

Why am I so unfortunate? I have been asking myself this question oh-so-many-times this's why:

1. After moving in together w/ my new husband this January I found out he is abusive. He shouts at me everyday...throughout the day for no reason...he curses at me and calls me names (stupid, tae, etc.)...he also was mildly physically abusive (batok, hampas ng basahan sa mukha, etc.).

2. Holy week of this year my husband admitted to me that he hangs out w/ gay men and does drugs.

3. My husband got extremely ill and died while I was 5 months pregnant.

4. Found out my husband died of aids.

5. Gave birth to my baby w/ a true knot. My baby was born w/ sepsis because of my OB's negligence. I had bleeding w/c endangered my uterus (hysterectomy). It's been 2 weeks since I gave birth and I still have not started recovering (I have an abscess on my perenium but my OB insists it is nothing...I still am unable to stand/sit/properly take care of my baby...and I am only getting worse :(

I have no idea why all this is happening to me. I also had a lot of issues at work but didn't list them down anymore =(