Ok so I guess I have no one else to turn to…and I can’t post
these on facebook, this HAS TO BE ANONYMOUS.
So I’m just gonna say it…weeks into the marriage…and days into moving in
together…I knew I’M BEING ABUSED.
How did I know? It
all started when we moved in together.
He finds fault in everything I do…throughout the day. I was out of my wits thinking why he would
start a fight throughout the day. And
then he started calling me names. STUPID,
“TAE (SHIT/POO)”, etc.. Sorry I have
very bad memory & story-telling skills.
But think of the lowest organisms in the world & he would do his
best to make me feel I am worth way less than those. I don’t know how to describe it, maybe you
understand?
And then last Monday comes & he hit me in the head while
I’m driving. He also tried to sway away
the steering wheel so we could crash (I don’t know --- maybe I married a
psycho?). Naturally, for safety reasons,
I stopped the car & he shouted & left, leaving the car door open in the
middle of the street. I was so scared I
went to my parents house (you see in the Philippines we live w/ our parents
before we get married, no moving out of parents’ house when you’re adult or off
to college --- I live in the city anyway).
I was scared to go home, I can’t take it anymore. Well maybe I forgot I was in the
Philippines. My parents wouldn’t even
let me spend the night, they said I should GO BACK TO MY HUSBAND AND
APOLOGIZE. I said I was scared he would
beat me up. They said I was not really
hurt & he would not beat me up, so I did, went back home, say sorry. My parents also advised me to be VERY
SUBMISSIVE---my husband might be insecure or something…my mom said I had no
choice but to just keep quiet when he starts calling me names & belittling
me…that I have no choice…that it is still better than being alone in life---I
don’t agree but didn’t say anything…if I knew before this is what married life
would’ve been like I would’ve remained single forever!
So today he slammed a “basahan” (wet rag) on my face &
laughed. I just, listening to my
parents, kept quiet…couldn’t stop myself saying things (in a “mousy” way) that
he doesn’t respect me, etc.. Haaaaay….
At least I have Blogger…I can’t post on facebook. I posted once how hard married life is, w/o a
maid, and how happy I am whenever I go to work everyday so I can rest---HE HAD
A FIELD DAY!!! I’m NEVER GOING TO POST ON FACEBOOK AGAIN!!! I actually vowed
not to use facebook anymore --- can I? I
mean, w/ all the shit on facebook about married life & kids (I am already
35, was planning to have kids immediately but w/ what I’m experiencing
now---NEVER!!!). If people have been
saying married life is hard & having kids is harder---I wouldn’t be stupid
enough to try the latter!!! Facebook is a lie.
The media is a lie. Why does
everyone make it feel like being single is lonely & sad??? I got married at
35 and I regret it---I NEVER SHOULD’VE GOTTEN MARRIED!!! I should’ve been STILL
HAPPY instead of LIVING THIS MISERABLE LIFE!!!
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