Mga Tanong

Dear Blog,


I am missing my husband again. It is kinda hard because right now I am staying in my mom's room. We are sleeping together in bed w/ my newborn...so I kinda feel like I can't just cry and grieve here 'coz she might see me...


'Ung maid kc naming walang kwenta at walang kcng insensitive nibring-up na namn ung asawa k knina. How he should've been the one taking care of our baby since he's a pedia. How I should've saved much medical care on my baby if he was alive...bakit ba napaka-insensitive nya?! Gusto k sna iwish na mngyri rn sa knya ung ngyri skn kso wla namn syang asawa...iniwan sya ng bf nya nung nbuntis sya...gusto k sna iwish na mmatayan sya ng anak kso mgkkron na namn sya ng dahilan pra mgbakasyon...na sobra na nyang inaabuso. Knina nga nguutos ako pinagaantay ako dhl ngppaload p dw sya (business nya) bwiset wlang kwenta! Bwal p namn ako nkatayo mtgal at bk ako mgbleed...


Hindi k talga alam bat ngyri skn lhat ng ito...bkt ako pa...ano bng ksalanan k? Paulit-ulit kng tintanong...kkaksal k p lng...buntis p...bkt kelangn kng mmatayn ng asawa?! Bkt kelangng ang mpangasawa k e abuser? Drug addict? Sumasma sa mga bading? D namn kmi nghhirap? May aids? Bkt lhat na lng ng kmalasan npunta skn???! Pinagdsal k namn lhat...mula ng mkilala k sya...cnagot k sya...bgo kmi iksal...bkt??? Bkt ako p? Bkt d na lng ako ngkron ng normal na asawa? Ng pamilyang buo? Anu b ang ksalanan k?

I Wanna Die

I wanna die na-_-;; why is all this happening to me??!!

I Can't Take Care of My Baby

I am so depressed that I cannot fully take care of my baby :( Until now (it's been 2 weeks) I still can barely stand up and still can't sit down...I can't even carry my baby:( I'm so so sad :(((

2015 Is Not My Year

Why am I so unfortunate? I have been asking myself this question oh-so-many-times this year...here's why:


1. After moving in together w/ my new husband this January I found out he is abusive. He shouts at me everyday...throughout the day for no reason...he curses at me and calls me names (stupid, tae, etc.)...he also was mildly physically abusive (batok, hampas ng basahan sa mukha, etc.).


2. Holy week of this year my husband admitted to me that he hangs out w/ gay men and does drugs.


3. My husband got extremely ill and died while I was 5 months pregnant.


4. Found out my husband died of aids.


5. Gave birth to my baby w/ a true knot. My baby was born w/ sepsis because of my OB's negligence. I had bleeding w/c endangered my uterus (hysterectomy). It's been 2 weeks since I gave birth and I still have not started recovering (I have an abscess on my perenium but my OB insists it is nothing...I still am unable to stand/sit/properly take care of my baby...and I am only getting worse :(


I have no idea why all this is happening to me. I also had a lot of issues at work but didn't list them down anymore =(






work

Young Husband Died & I'm Pregnant

I am dying inside each day. My husband died several days ago and it's getting worse each day. I simply cannot live w/o him. I don't know how to survive this. I can't even stop crying.


Why did this happen to me? What did I do to deserve this?


My life has stopped and my heart had stopped beating...

All the Single Ladies...

I am amazed at how society (& everywhere not just in certain countries) highly value being married & having kids & ostracizes singles around the world. 

 

I grew up not wanting to get married.  I cannot imagine being w/ just 1 guy for the rest of my life.  And I hate kids & babies.  And in an 8-year relationship I decided to move in (live-in in Filipino terms) w/ my boyfriend.  It was a disaster.  He left me immediately & I had the burden of the monthly amortization & bills to take care of myself.  I had a realization at this time, that I shouldn’t be doing/planning things that are against God’s laws, like “live-in.”  So I changed.  I decided that apart from my career goals, my “other” goal would be to get married & have my own family.  I thought I was doing things right.

 

That same year (w/c I thought was already the worst year of my life before) I met my future husband.  We went on a blind date (introduced by a common friend).  I was comfortable & there was no dead air in our conversations.  However I was not “normally” attracted to him.  He was not my “usual type.”  He looked clean, like a “good boy.”  He was fair-skinned.  He was Chinese.  He was short.  He looked like the type of guy my parents & lola would like.  He looked like the type of guy my friends need not worry about.  As I left him that day I thought, “no, we would just be friends---I’m not attracted to him at all!”  But I reconsidered right then & there.  I recalled the 2 things I was looking for in a husband:  (1) someone who, when he gets married, will never ever separate from his wife no matter what & (2) someone I can be proud of.  He meets the 2 requirements!  Don’t ask me how I verified he meets the #1 requirement.  Just think of a “good boy” compared to a “bad boy.”  I mean, there are men you know are not the type who will get divorced right?  No matter what?  He is that type.  For #2 I had this requirement because my last boyfriend was hated by my family & friends.  So I guess fighting for the guy was too tiring so I thought about this requirement #2.  So I thought, he met my 2 requirements and for some reason I kept thinking about him that night & the following day---and the rest is history!

 

Now I am “unfortunately married.”  I realized what a big sham it is.  Just watching the latest Fast & Furious film showing Paul Walker supposedly finding “real happiness” w/ his wife & kid/s, what a sham!  Read this all you single ladies---marriage will NOT make you HAPPY!!!  It is WAY WORSE THAN BEING SINGLE!  What is fun about being a wife & having the burden of “carrying” your marriage??!  What is the fun in submitting to your husband???  What is the fun of not having freedom, not being able to do what you want.  There is no real benefit of getting married!!!  Unless if you’re a masochist and would love to live the rest of your life sacrificing, suffering & being miserable!!!  Life is meant to be enjoyed not to suffer & sacrifice constantly.  You should be able to do what you want w/ your life & not be obliged to sacrifice for another human being for the rest of your life.  So please married woman, stop fooling all these lucky single women that you are happy.  Single ladies…don’t be fooled like me! L

 

 

Your Face Sounds Familiar

I have been watching Your Face Sounds Familiar since I first saw it (1^st episode, 1^st performer – Karla Estrada preparing as Sharon Cuneta).  I never really watch a local show religiously until I saw this one.  I’m waiting for it every weekend whenever I’m home.  But I must admit there are some frustrations…

1.        The judges are puro positive na lang ang alam sabihin --- kahit dun sa binibigyan nila ng lowest score…I thought this show was different before kasi I was pleasantly surprised on the 1^st show nung binanggit ni Jed & Sharon na sintonado si Maxene.  Actually ok naman si Sharon minsan she still mentions the area for improvement and I like her candid comments even when not juding---adds spice to the show.  I don’t know why she has many detractors.  It’s refreshing to watch the “New Sharon” now na hindi puro pacute at ang galling humirit!  Pinakawalang kwenta si Gary lahat maganda at magaling sa kanya.  Papalitan daw sya for a while ni Boy Abunda but I don’t expect things to get better knowing Boy na wala ring laman ang sinasabi parati.

2.       Pacorny ng pacorny si Billy Joe Crawford.  He was very good on the 1^st show.  Did the ratings frighten him???  Ok this is one of the things na ok lang.  I didn’t want him to excel din dahil sa ginawa nya kay Nikki Gil.

3.       Frustrating yung performances last week.  Halos walang nagperform.  The only positive thing is nanalo na rin ang favorite ko na si Nyoy sa wakas (after the very unfair assignment the week before).  Ipinanalo nya ang worst performance nya---w/c is still better than the others.

4.       Ang pinakafrustrating is ung pagsscore ng judges.  Here is my own scoring (I only included the last 2 weeks dahil eto lang ang napanood ko ng buo sa tv---I realized iba pa rin pag youtube).

 

Week 4 (April 5)[edit]

Order	Contestant	Impersonated artist[16]	Song	Total Points	Rank
1	Melai Cantiveros	Mad Killah of Salbakuta	"Stupid Love"	18	4th
	Tutti Caringal	Bendeatha of Salbakuta		20	3rd
2	Edgar Allan Guzman	John Travolta	"You're the One That I Want"	13	5th
	Maxene Magalona	Olivia Newton		12	6th
3	Jolina Magdangal	Juliet Sunot of Aegis	"Sinta"	21	2nd
	Nyoy Volante	Rey Abenoja of Aegis		4	8th
4	Karla Estrada	Dolly Parton	"Islands in the Stream"	11	7th
	Jay R	Kenny Rogers		33	1st

 

***Kung ako I would go for the following:

Tutti

Jay R

Melai

Edgar Allan

Nyoy

Jolina

Karla

Maxene

Hindi magaling si Tutti for the past weeks pero grabe ang performance nya dun sa Salbakuta.  He deserved a higher score.  Si Melai mataas din ang score ko kasi kahit di nya gano nagaya sa looks yung salbakuta eh grabe sa kwela ang performance nila ni Tutti.  Edgar Allan deserved more based on his performance na nagaya si John Travolta---only thing is he looks like Zac Efron.  Si Nyoy deserved more dahil magaling pa rin sya kahit halos extra lang.  Si Jolina hindi marunong kumanta, hindi maabot ung kasimple-simpleng kanta na any ordinary singer eh magagawa, walang nagaya ni kaunti.  Naaalala ko tuloy yung nabasa ko sa FashionPulis lately na parang gusto ng ABS-CBN iahon ang career ni Jolina---kadiri!  Si Karla as usual wala na namang ginawa…lalo na si Maxene.

 

Week 5 (April 11 & 12)[edit]

Order	Contestant	Impersonated artist	Song	Total Points	Rank
1	Edgar Allan Guzman	Ricky Martin	"She Bangs"	15	5th
2	Maxene Magalona	Madonna	"Like A Virgin"	3	8th
3	Nyoy Volante	Justin Bieber	" Baby (Justin Bieber song)"	27	1st
4	Karla Estrada	Psy	"Gentleman"	14	6th/7th
5	Jay R	Alice Cooper	"I Never Cry"	18	3rd
6	Jolina Magdangal	Axl Rose	"Sweet Child o' Mine"	17	4th
7	Tutti Caringal	Rico J. Puno	"Macho Gwapito"	14	6th/7th
8	Melai Cantiveros	Jolina Magdangal	"Chuva Choo Choo"	24	2nd

Here’s my ranking:

 

Nyoy

Karla

Jay R

Jolina

Edgar Allan

Tutti

Maxene

Melai

 

Karla deserved more last weekend.  Hindi madali yung pinagawa sa kanya knowing her.  I don’t know why she scored so low.  Si Melai ang halatang-halatang may daya.  Dahil ba ang paborito ng ABS na si Jolina ang ginaya nya?

 

5.        Last frustration ay ang mga nabunot na “Icons” kuno for next weekend’s performances.

 

Week 6 (April 18 & 19)[edit]

Order	Contestant	Impersonated artist	Song	Total Points	Rank
-	Maxene Magalona	Vhong Navarro
-	Tutti Caringal	Steven Tyler
-	Karla Estrada	Mariah Carey
-	Edgar Allan Guzman	Toni Gonzaga
-	Jolina Magdangal	Manny Pacquiao
-	Jay R	Tom Jones
-	Melai Cantiveros	Cyndi Lauper
-	Nyoy Volante	apl.de.ap

 

Music Icons pala si Vhong Navarro at si Toni Gonzaga??!  Pweh!!! Maintindihan ko pa si Manny Pacquiao dahil sikat naman ito sa buong mundo lalo na may nalalapit na laban.  Pero gamitin daw ba ang international franchised show na ito to promote their own “talentless” artistis??!  Kahit si apl.de.ap matuturing ba na Icon yon?  Buti kung Black-Eyed Peas o si will.i.am o Fergie pa!  PAK!

 

I’m not looking forward to the next show anymore!!!