Dear Blog,
I really feel bad. My fiance just booked a duo host for our wedding w/o telling me beforehand...kainis! Masaya daw un mag-host...well, ayaw ko maging comedy bar ang reception ko!!! Haaaay, I'm so inis!!! Gusto daw nya ma-please lahat ng bisita...bakit ba hindi pa ako nagulat??? Eh gnyan naman sya, puro ibang tao lang ang iniisip...ayan tuloy...I'm not looking forward to my wedding anymore :(((((((((( sad sad me :s
All I want for my wedding is to control everything, to be happy. Mas gusto ko ako ang maging masaya sa wedding not my guests!!! It is my day...it is even my birthday haaaaay, knowing me, nakoh...baka halata sa mukha ko na I am not happy on my wedding day & that I hate the hosts...kakainis naman kc...I really want my "cool aunt" to host the program. Yun na rin ang alam nya, she is even more excited than I am, naplano na nga nya ung program eh! Haaaaay...iba pala ung feeling na u're not looking forward to your wedding anymore :(
What should I do?
Kanina right after the argument w/ my fiance I started daydreaming na lang again about my "hot" boss. Ok, he may not be hot for most people kc terror sya, but he is HOT for me...I've heard meron din naman syang a couple of admirers sa office....nagdaydream lang ako na hiwalay na sila ng asawa nya...at annulled agad since priest naman ung kapatid ng asawa nya...haaaay, tapos pde na kami, tapos lipat sya ng position or whatever para pde ng maging kami....tapos nabuntis nyako...tapos i'll break up w/ my fiance, tapos we'll still make use of the church & reception venue & kami na lang magpakasal hahahaha...super wild imagination!
I really like my boss. Parehong-pareho kami ng ugali. I like his direction, I am so inspired to work. We are pro-operations & "anti-people(?)" Hahaha! I recently realized na I perform better when I'm myself at work, instead of trying to adapt to the company culture, to my boss. This time kc bagay na bagay kami ng boss ko. Lahat ng utos nya agree ako so it's so easy to follow & act...sarap!!! Iniisip ko tuloy, should I just be myself in my personal life as well??? Just let go of this dream of being like everybody else, get married, have kids, etc. dahil hindi naman talaga ako yon??? What to do???!